Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
