His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
