You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
