yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
