God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
