you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
