he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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