How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
