THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
