wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
