I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
