I like to think it a success when the cops are called
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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