Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
