Cold hands, warm shart.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
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