Got a toothbrush?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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