my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
you have to choose: penises or morals?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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