I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I touched a dick in church today
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
