GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
soo... how was my night?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
