There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
