just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
