who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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