just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
