She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
