the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
