He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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