with your own penis?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
