we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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