I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
