Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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