I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize