How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
