Just cropdusted the office
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
