Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Its about making memories worth repressing
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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