I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
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