woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
