Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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