I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I think I died a long time ago.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
The beer is more important than you right now.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
