let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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