dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
