allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
she woke up with a sticky ear
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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