I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
