marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
