Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
