I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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