i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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