god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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