are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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