you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
