I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
