i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
