Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
