And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
