Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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